This is why you can't find a date online

Matt's Listing on Craigslist
hello their
i am matt, indipendent smart funnie guy from west mass i quit high school when my tracktor mecanic said that learning is for wussys and gays .i aint gay .i have been here all my life and i have no plans to move i don't like travel as i can only speak american .i am manly man and i got my own place next to moms bedroom she dont want no rent but still i will pay when i get a job or a girlfriend.
i want the thinnest girl for love , beer and rent for mom. i can cuddle and sit on couch all day so you found the right man let us go out for a few drinks and sex first and see where it goes. (his version)

" Hello there. (Which I can't spell) Hi, I'm Matt that can't capitalize my own name or the first letter of a sentence. I think I am smart, funny, and independent, but I can't spell any of these words, except for smart. It is obvious I quit high school, and I'm even surprised that I even made it that far considering I write like a second grader. I quit because I'm a loser and listened to a loser tractor mechanic, by which I can't spell those words either. Learning is for smart people, which means that I am not smart. I'm not gay, but I am homophobic instead. I won't travel because I didn't bother to learn any language other than English. I also won't move because I'm afraid I can't speak Southern or Western English. I do not know the difference between the language of English and American as being born, raised or living in America. I consider myself manly because I live next to my mom's bedroom because I finally grew out of the crib. However, even though I have my own bedroom, I still sleep in my mom's bed. I can't pay rent because I have no job and my mom is a crack dealer that is why she doesn't need money from me. I want a stupid broad who has a job and is willing to have sex with my ugly ass, pay my rent and keep me from going to AA meetings by supporting my beer habit. I am a couch potato and expect you to pay for our beer and condoms for our first date. I pray that you don't leave me because of my overgrown hair that hasn't been cut since 1985 and a mullet that should've never been in style." (my version)

Dude, if this is a serious request, you have a serious problem. Let's get the creeps off Craigslist.