Oh No She Didn't!

I don't know much about this chick, I'm not going to lie, but what I heard last night is absurd.

The "Queen of Mean" (Title fits appropriately) was on last night on Jay Leno. I did not appreciate at all what she said. Lisa Lampanelli said some not so nice things to Kevin last night, saying both racist and Anti-Semitic (Jewish) jokes last night. While some were funny and okay, the rest were definitely out of line.

The fact that she is constantly on the Howard Stern show makes me less appreciative of her. While it's great that she made herself to be one of the few white people on BET and all that other jazz, anyone who sides with Howard Stern is a disgrace. Howard Stern is a disgusting pig who needs to die and burn in hell. He is derogative towards women, and God only knows what other grotesque things that man has said towards different types of people over the years. I am so glad he got off the public air, as he was just way over the top disgusting. I'm glad Lisa stuck herself at his level; congratulations want a biscuit bitch? Oh wait, you would like that too much...haha.

To top it off, I watched Conan O'Brien (why I don't know I hate the man's guts, he is a red head idiot on TV; I find Jay Leno more impressive and professional. If I wanted to watch a moron on tv all I have to do is go to You Tube.) and I normally like Tracey Morgan, but when he made a comment about Hillary Clinton, that was it. The comment he made was that if she had her period she would go beserk and hit the red button and destroy the country. That's not funny.

Between racist, anti-Semitic and sexist jokes, I shut the TV off before I threw something at it. It is not necessary. Poke fun at certain people, not a certain population of people. Racism and sexism won't go away if people think it's okay to joke about this stuff. It's like saying "I'm not racist, but let me tell you about this funny black joke." It's not funny. It needs to stop.

Oh and by the way Lisa, that is a terrible dress. For someone who is a plus sized celebrity I think you can afford better clothes. The clothes that you wore on your 5 second clip on your latest movie looked better on you. You make Rosie O'Donnell look good. Nice way to contribute to society; make plus sized people more of a joke then they already are. Bitch.

V to the Tenth: Vagina Monologues

This year marks the 10 year anniversary for "The Vagina Monologues". For those of you who don't know what the Vagina Monologues are, its a bunch of monologues, some funny, some on the more serious side, that talk about, well, women's vagina's. It's about women, about violence against women, about loving the womens body, it's about the body of a woman. It's to raise awareness for women who are raped, battered, sex slaved and tortured, whether in the US, or in other countries. For every school or organization that puts on the plays, they raise money to a charity of their choice, and 10% goes to The Vagina Monologue organization. This year, Springfield College finally got the monologues back. And yes, I mean, we got them back

Why? You may ask. Where did they go in the first place?

Springfield College had a problem with the word "Vagina".

Supposedly (and I put this lightly as our school's ultra-conservatism comes in play...again) that the students were confused about the monologues, and after the people who run this program had to write a 25 page documentary (and that I am not kidding about), and many week long meetings with the deans, we got the monologues back. Except, we are, of course, under deep scrutiny. We also have to watch how we advertise. It showed in the school newspaper a couple weeks ago, when it just advertised it as "The Monologues" instead of "The Vagina Monologues".

I talked to a freshman who said when she went to visit schools, and one of the schools she visited they had a real live "vagina" walking around advertising for the Vagina Monologues. We both knew, however, that it will never happen here (God fucking forbid) because it just won't fly.

(" 'Cause we care more about the fucking grass getting greener and the President tucking the money away to live in another house, when he had a house built near the campus to be "supposedly closer to the students" which is a load of bullshit, because for anyone that goes to this school, he meets with select few students throughout the year, and the only time I see the bastard is at graduation and "big" events.")

So, we have the monologues, but we have to watch our backs. How nice. I guess also the deans thought our organization didn't go to a good cause (supposedly we represented it wrong). Well, how the fuck do you want us to represent battered woman? You want us to act in the acts themselves with all the gruesome details? Or do you want some fluffy sugar coated bullshit on stage? I mean really.....

Anyways, my monologue is actually kind of gruesome. I will share with you my monologue:

NOT-SO-HAPPY-FACT "This is a not-so-happy fact found in UNICEF's 2005 Report, "Female Genital Mutilation and Cutting. A Statistical Exploration." "Female genital mutilation has been inflicted on approximately 130 million girls and young women. In the 28 countries where it is practiced, mostly in Africa, about three million young girls a year can expect the knife-or the razor or a glass shard-to cut their clitoris or remove it altogether. In a man it would range from amputation of most of the penis, to removal of all the penis. Short-term results include: tetanus, hemorrhages, cuts in the urethra, bladder and vaginal walls. Long term: chronic uterine infection, increased agony and danger during child births, and early deaths."



Isn't that lovely? I rather have the Angry Vagina or the Cunt monologue, but oh well, maybe next year.

If you would like to support the Vagina Monologues and go to Springfield College, the dates are March 28th and 29th @7pm. It's $5 to attend. 90% proceeds go to YWCA. If you do not go to SC, check out www.Vday.com or www.Vday.org and check out your local monologues or donate to such a great cause. Happy 10th! Go Vaginas!

Vagina Vday