More on "Choosing Prostitution: Is it a choice?"

This is my article from Examiner.com. Please read this first if you have not already.

Article on Prostitution

This is a comment posted by Jess:

"Read your column with hope. Hoped it’d be insightful, not typical reactionary & biased sex work piece. I was pleased with some but frustrated with more. Yes, some women are forced into it by others THAT IS WRONG! But I chose to pay my way through school doing sex work. I controlled what I did, who I saw, the hours I worked. I could’ve worked 2x or 3x the hours waitressing & had far less study time. I’d have learned less, gotten worse grades, likely not gotten the job I have. It was MY choice and I should have that right! Is it anyone else’s business to tell me I must settle for less because THEY don’t think I should do it my way? No, it’s NOT!! No one should be forced into this but they should be allowed to do so. Eliminate pimps, drugs, violence, force. Not my choice."

I'm going to get into a bit more detail here. Jess chose to do sex work. She chose, she was not forced. But, in a sense, she was forced to do sex work.

In the article, I mentioned money as a factor. To most women money=survival, to some extent correct? Waitressing, for example, is not easy money. Most states, in fact, the minimum wage to pay a waitress is just over $2 an hour, set by restaurant standards, which is completely legal. Next time you go to your local TGI Friday's, Applebee's, or IHOP, ask the waitress/waiter how much they make an hour. They'll tell you. They really do live off their tips.

Some women, despite their best intentions, get caught in a web. They think that once they make enough money, they can end thier career. However, many fall back, from schemes from the people they work with. Sometimes club owners or managers may find ways to keep the women in. Some ways may be legal, that business is booming and they need more help. Other ways are illegal, by possible threats.

It would be really hard to "eliminate pimps, drugs, violence and force." This is why lawmakers want to get rid of the oldest profession or make it illegal. This is pretty much their reasoning to make such laws. Despite what sex workers want, cutting down prostitution would result in less violence. By getting rid of a strip club for example, you would cut out drunk people in a populated area, drugs, property damage, lawsuits for harrassment, police and other costs that when bad things happen, tax payers pay for.

I hope Jess got hope from my article, because what we really need, when you boil it down, is jobs. Jobs women (or really anyone) can work, with different education levels and opportunities. Minimum wage jobs should get higher pay and benefits, because I can promise you as some one who works just over min wage, I don't get paid enough to deal with the crap. However, prostitutes or sex workers feel that if they control the situation, and the flow of money, then any problems that do occur is worth it.

I think if we had better jobs, and better paying jobs, Jess, I don't think you would choose sex work. I'm not saying that even if we made this a better world with my suggestions, that sex work would end. But I don't think Jess grew up dreaming that she would one day be a sex worker. I think she has/had goals, obviously changing over time, of what she wanted to do with her life.

I may have a hard time imagining any woman wanting to ever be a sex worker, but I won't condemn women who do. However, I'm pretty sure if I surveyed all the women sex workers, most would wish they did something else. I know that in a video I watched in my Women and Philosophy class, about 90% of the sex workers wished they didn't have to do their job.

So Jess, I hope you have hope. Unfortunately, while you may be a good story of someone who had a good experience, many women haven't. Every sex worker's story is different of whether or not they were forced. In the end, though, I feel all sex workers are forced, because even though you, for example, chose to do this to pay for your education, the government failed you. If our government cared for it's own people, Jess, you wouldn't have to be a sex worker. You could've been just a student. Although, in a positive note, you may have gained a different insight to life that you would've never seen, and maybe learned more than you could in a classroom. That I don't know.

Jess, I am not picking on you by any means, and I don't think you should ever have to settle. I could spend all day, and probably write a book on this topic. I'm glad you responded, and for your info, and anyone else, I try not to be biased on issues like this, unless I have some arguements or information that is solid.

Growing up as a Christian, Jess, I used to blame prostitutes for their own misfortunes. Over time though, I've learned about the other side of things. Recently, my church decided to be part of the protest over at the RI Statehouse for the human trafficking going on for the children between 11-14 I believe, where there is no law that charges the offender for adult or child.

However, unlike people in my church, I have a better understanding of your situation. While watching The Real World a few years ago, one of the girls was a stripper, and some people had a hard time trying to figure out why she wouldn't get a real job. Which brought a flashback memory for me.

When I was 14, and again at 15, I applied to get a job at McDonald's. I got my work permit and had friends who worked there, so I figured I'd get the job. Both times I never got a call back, and I had an interview with the same manager twice. It wasn't until I was 16 before I got a job at CVS.

Even before this economic crisis, you can't "just get a job" either. Sometimes you apply multiple times, know people and still can't get in. With stripping and prostitution, there are no applications or "knowing people". You just do it, and learn as you go along. And you get paid more.

Even when you work, sometimes you get desperate. Like I said, I couldn't dream going into sex work, but there were times it was tempting because I was financially struggling. I was working three jobs at one point, and help supporting my mom, who also worked. There were days where I was like "just one night, make a shitload of money and call it a day". I even looked at ads and called places to find info.

You can choose how you live your life, but you can't always choose your destiny. Or fate.