A phone call that changed a life
an opportunity to be taken
many many papers to fill out
and she counted the uniforms one by one
she wondered what type of girls would fit
into these blue and white pieces of cloth
the balls were worn and a medical kit outdated
few pinnies and a broken box
She tried to prepare as best she could
had the paperwork ready in hand
and as the girls piled in the gym
about eighty eyeballs staring at her
she smiled the best she could
although her stomach was churning
she stuttered her way through her speech
and didn't know what else to say
they took off and waited for tryouts in a few days
She called the former coach
and she hated his approach
flashbacks of high school days
through horror and the haze
she knew what these girls went through
she knew she'd be a better coach
if she didn't follow his ways
as she talked to the girls who stuck around
she didn't realize that what she found
was diamonds in the rough
they went through hell but it made them tough
but she knew they deserved better
there were times when she cared too much
but knew they were in a system that didn't care enough
When the season began, she had no idea
who was who and when and where
but it all came down to what was fair
she took her jersey and made her an example
that she was no Shirley Temple
and to the team it was clear
Even in the midst of chaos
we won our first game
and even when we lost
we never held our heads in shame
she realized this at the end of a bad game
when we were laughing instead of crying
she knew she did something right
and there were moments that were overwhelming
tom was in town and we were oversweating
attitudes came and went
and we learned that we need to respect
even when others didn't respect us
the earth shattered for certain girls
as we dealt with death and injuries
you can't stick a child in a bubble
in this world we can't always protect
the ones we love as fate is always there
even when our days were in the dark
there were moments that made a mark
and she held these girls close to her heart
"the goalie is bored" "the mighty ducks"
"pop pop" "of the game?!?!?!"
"don't be a princess" and "watch for the queens"
"we shut down the other team by scoring"
we got stuck in a locker
forgot to clean up
we were obnoxious with the cellphones
and at times we forgot we had a coach
we forgot our cleats and sometimes our sneaks
but we learned to compromise
we had a Cindarella moment during a game,
when we found the right cleats for her feet
we didn't have enough jerseys but willingly sacrificed
our uniforms to another teammate
cardboard makes great shinguards in a pinch
and a medical kit protects cellphones from the rain
we learned the coach was smart
even when our worlds fell apart
and she did everything she could for her team
she provided water for their thirst
and gave up hours at her job
she had no gas in her car
at home there was no heat
she tried to get these girls the things that they deserved
but she got the runaround and was unnerved
she cried as she put the uniforms back in the box
she'll miss these girls,
but knows that they're not gone forever
she'll stick to the team until the end
it's not about the money that we spend
it's about the bond in the sisterhood
and that's what we understood.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Dumpsta Diva
Yea I said it. Dumpsta diva, what a title to have. But that's what I did Monday.
I had the pleasure of attempting to sell scrap metal for the first time. This proved to be an interesting feat.
I've read up on this subject before, and wanted to know how much money you can actually make. So, I headed in the basement, and there's a buttload of metal sitting there not being used. Shelving mostly, a charcoal grill, some random crap we have no idea what it is. And we didn't know the type of metal it was either. But it didn't hurt to try.
So my mom and I brought stuff up, hosed the dust off it and wipe it a little bit, and shoved it into her trunk. We headed down to Pawtucket to Berger's recycling, which is quite an interesting drive. After getting lost slightly a couple of times and the GPS yelling at us to "take ramp to 95 North", we got there in one piece.
When we arrived there was an older gentlemen taking stuff from another man's truck. So I stood there and waited, I guess expecting to be waited on. I finally got someone's attention and he looked at our stuff. No good. Not that it couldn't be sold, but it wasn't worth it to them. The type of material we had is worth a penny per pound, so twenty pounds would be 20 cents. I told this to my mom, and she was shocked. Several times now we've attempted to cash in on stuff, like coins that are worth more, and they aren't by that much. We tried to sell silver and gold, and we had some fake stuff that wouldn't sell either. All this stuff we saved to try to make money off of has come to us to no avail. But I forgot about our brass and copper pieces we had in the car, so I showed it to the guy. Wasn't much, but we got $7.55 for it. So it wasn't a wasted trip unlike our other attempts.
The guys told us where we can throw out the worthless metal, so we chucked it, as there was no point of us taking it home. Another man was standing there, and he gave us some pointers in finding good metal. He told us that if a magnet sticks to it, it's no good. If it sticks slightly, then it's good enough to sell. If it doesn't stick, it's excellent. Then he told us they took cans, but it's better we take it to MA, where we get the 5 cents deposit. However, what my mom and I thought about later, was that MA only takes cans that held carbonated drinks, not things like tea or lemonade. So we figured we'd take the cans that we can't sell in MA, and save up a bunch and take a trip. The guy told us it takes about 28 cans to make a pound, so we're keeping a mental note to determine how much we are going to get. They take extension cords, car batteries, and what not.
Right now I'm in the process of stripping wire, which is a bitch, I'm not going to lie. I watched a couple of YouTube videos to see how to make the process even slightly easier. It may be a pain to strip, but it's worth more money stripped than unstripped. My mom recently ran over an extenstion cord with a lawnmower, and we're stripping that too, piece by piece.
You may ask why the hell am I going through all this trouble? Well, we are in desperate need of cash, as we may be losing our home. We owe the bank a lot in past due amounts we couldn't pay, and if we don't get it we have to put a foreclosure sale sign up. We've been battling this for a year now. We'd rather not sell, as we have no place to go, and it's much cheaper keeping our house. Trying to get an apartment to accomedate even some of our needs won't work. Our attempt with Obama's plan failed, as we don't qualify. We are still trying to work with Rhode Island Housing, but as I figure out so far in my "young" almost 25 years of life, you can't depend on anyone, and just do stuff yourself. I have very little faith in our government or any people or organization so far. Not that I've never received help, or that it wasn't appreciated, but it's too little too late, not enough, or nothing significant or life changing.
The last time I went through something like this way two years ago, when my student loan fell through just before classes start. After screaming and crying as I was almost done with school and angry that a loan company I've used twice before let me down, there was one more little thing that I could do. And my school told me of one more company I can try, and made it. The year after I was fearing the same problem, but my father passed away, and it was a bittersweet moment that my father left behind life insurance that left significant money to me and my sister. I used the majority of that money to pay for school my senior year. I just hope no one close to me dies just so I can get money to pay for the house. I'd rather some miracle occur first.
So right now we are collecting metal stuff to sell. One of my coworkers is trying to host a can drive at her school, and is collecting more wires and stuff to strip for copper. We are trying to find things we can get sell to get money. Looking for full time work or a second job. (Which I've been doing for over a year now, by the way.) Anything.
I feel like this is pathetic, pathetic that there are two well educated people in my household, that can't find a full time job anywhere. Rhode Island is too small, and has too little places of employment to try to get anything. I know I'm not alone. I've worked so hard to avoid this exact situation I'm in now, and me and my family don't deserve this. We've done nothing to deserve this. It's like having a severe illness, where this a potion to cure it, but no one seems to have it. And dying a very slow death, but trying to grasp at straws of hope that maybe you will be cured.
I had the pleasure of attempting to sell scrap metal for the first time. This proved to be an interesting feat.
I've read up on this subject before, and wanted to know how much money you can actually make. So, I headed in the basement, and there's a buttload of metal sitting there not being used. Shelving mostly, a charcoal grill, some random crap we have no idea what it is. And we didn't know the type of metal it was either. But it didn't hurt to try.
So my mom and I brought stuff up, hosed the dust off it and wipe it a little bit, and shoved it into her trunk. We headed down to Pawtucket to Berger's recycling, which is quite an interesting drive. After getting lost slightly a couple of times and the GPS yelling at us to "take ramp to 95 North", we got there in one piece.
When we arrived there was an older gentlemen taking stuff from another man's truck. So I stood there and waited, I guess expecting to be waited on. I finally got someone's attention and he looked at our stuff. No good. Not that it couldn't be sold, but it wasn't worth it to them. The type of material we had is worth a penny per pound, so twenty pounds would be 20 cents. I told this to my mom, and she was shocked. Several times now we've attempted to cash in on stuff, like coins that are worth more, and they aren't by that much. We tried to sell silver and gold, and we had some fake stuff that wouldn't sell either. All this stuff we saved to try to make money off of has come to us to no avail. But I forgot about our brass and copper pieces we had in the car, so I showed it to the guy. Wasn't much, but we got $7.55 for it. So it wasn't a wasted trip unlike our other attempts.
The guys told us where we can throw out the worthless metal, so we chucked it, as there was no point of us taking it home. Another man was standing there, and he gave us some pointers in finding good metal. He told us that if a magnet sticks to it, it's no good. If it sticks slightly, then it's good enough to sell. If it doesn't stick, it's excellent. Then he told us they took cans, but it's better we take it to MA, where we get the 5 cents deposit. However, what my mom and I thought about later, was that MA only takes cans that held carbonated drinks, not things like tea or lemonade. So we figured we'd take the cans that we can't sell in MA, and save up a bunch and take a trip. The guy told us it takes about 28 cans to make a pound, so we're keeping a mental note to determine how much we are going to get. They take extension cords, car batteries, and what not.
Right now I'm in the process of stripping wire, which is a bitch, I'm not going to lie. I watched a couple of YouTube videos to see how to make the process even slightly easier. It may be a pain to strip, but it's worth more money stripped than unstripped. My mom recently ran over an extenstion cord with a lawnmower, and we're stripping that too, piece by piece.
You may ask why the hell am I going through all this trouble? Well, we are in desperate need of cash, as we may be losing our home. We owe the bank a lot in past due amounts we couldn't pay, and if we don't get it we have to put a foreclosure sale sign up. We've been battling this for a year now. We'd rather not sell, as we have no place to go, and it's much cheaper keeping our house. Trying to get an apartment to accomedate even some of our needs won't work. Our attempt with Obama's plan failed, as we don't qualify. We are still trying to work with Rhode Island Housing, but as I figure out so far in my "young" almost 25 years of life, you can't depend on anyone, and just do stuff yourself. I have very little faith in our government or any people or organization so far. Not that I've never received help, or that it wasn't appreciated, but it's too little too late, not enough, or nothing significant or life changing.
The last time I went through something like this way two years ago, when my student loan fell through just before classes start. After screaming and crying as I was almost done with school and angry that a loan company I've used twice before let me down, there was one more little thing that I could do. And my school told me of one more company I can try, and made it. The year after I was fearing the same problem, but my father passed away, and it was a bittersweet moment that my father left behind life insurance that left significant money to me and my sister. I used the majority of that money to pay for school my senior year. I just hope no one close to me dies just so I can get money to pay for the house. I'd rather some miracle occur first.
So right now we are collecting metal stuff to sell. One of my coworkers is trying to host a can drive at her school, and is collecting more wires and stuff to strip for copper. We are trying to find things we can get sell to get money. Looking for full time work or a second job. (Which I've been doing for over a year now, by the way.) Anything.
I feel like this is pathetic, pathetic that there are two well educated people in my household, that can't find a full time job anywhere. Rhode Island is too small, and has too little places of employment to try to get anything. I know I'm not alone. I've worked so hard to avoid this exact situation I'm in now, and me and my family don't deserve this. We've done nothing to deserve this. It's like having a severe illness, where this a potion to cure it, but no one seems to have it. And dying a very slow death, but trying to grasp at straws of hope that maybe you will be cured.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Politically speaking....
I'm going to do a little political rant here today, because I've had enough.
Recently I had a friend I talked to on the phone, and she goes "I don't know if I should say this but..." and she asked me my opinions on immigrants and stuff. I've done my homework over the years, and she brings up what I call Republican conservative points of view. We get into a "discussion" and I'm feeling that I am going to bang my head against the wall. I love her dearly and I don't mind discussing things, but still I just felt like there was no real discussion.
I don't mind Republican people, but I can't stand these people who don't have their facts straight. I've read and researched things that disprove many theories that the Republicans believe in. I can agree to disagree, but there are certain things that are just plain all facts and you really have no arguement, no matter what side you are on. Let's disagree on how things are handled, not things that are the truth.
Today I had a customer talk to me, and he decided to mention socialism, although I never mentioned anything political. He said something to the sort that "I don't mind helping people, but people have to work. If there are no jobs and no one works, why am I helping?" For the love of God, there are pure facts that even socialist groups agree that Obama is no socialist. Although the customer didn't mention Obama, he alluded to it. What I want to know is, are people seriously trying to piss me off, or do they really think I am a Republican because I am a nice white girl? Like seriously, I wear a peace sign religiously around my neck. A peace sign in the sixties meant that you were all about peace and probably smoked pot but most likely YOU WERE A DEMOCRAT. Technically I am a registered independent, but that's because I have some conservative roots. Some, but I relate mostly to the Democratic point of view. Obviously I am no flower child because I wasn't even thought of back then until the '80's, but seriously.
Just kidding. But seriously, I should find a bunch of hippies and recreate Woodstock in front of the statehouse instead. Now that ought to be interesting. You can legally smoke medical marajuana in our state, I'll just gather all those people and plop them in one spot. Call up a few bands, have people make food for a potluck meal, and get all the people who live in tent cities because they lost their homes to join us at the statehouse. We'd really prove a point.
I don't mind a political discussion, but I require two things: that we can have an intelligent arguement and that in fact both parties are actually intelligent, and also that we don't discuss this at work or a place where we can't talk about such stuff. Thank you.
Recently I had a friend I talked to on the phone, and she goes "I don't know if I should say this but..." and she asked me my opinions on immigrants and stuff. I've done my homework over the years, and she brings up what I call Republican conservative points of view. We get into a "discussion" and I'm feeling that I am going to bang my head against the wall. I love her dearly and I don't mind discussing things, but still I just felt like there was no real discussion.
I don't mind Republican people, but I can't stand these people who don't have their facts straight. I've read and researched things that disprove many theories that the Republicans believe in. I can agree to disagree, but there are certain things that are just plain all facts and you really have no arguement, no matter what side you are on. Let's disagree on how things are handled, not things that are the truth.
Today I had a customer talk to me, and he decided to mention socialism, although I never mentioned anything political. He said something to the sort that "I don't mind helping people, but people have to work. If there are no jobs and no one works, why am I helping?" For the love of God, there are pure facts that even socialist groups agree that Obama is no socialist. Although the customer didn't mention Obama, he alluded to it. What I want to know is, are people seriously trying to piss me off, or do they really think I am a Republican because I am a nice white girl? Like seriously, I wear a peace sign religiously around my neck. A peace sign in the sixties meant that you were all about peace and probably smoked pot but most likely YOU WERE A DEMOCRAT. Technically I am a registered independent, but that's because I have some conservative roots. Some, but I relate mostly to the Democratic point of view. Obviously I am no flower child because I wasn't even thought of back then until the '80's, but seriously.
I consider myself a journalist, although I don't have a real job in the field yet. But journalists have to search the facts, and I do, and from both sides of the coin. I do my homework, think about it (I do have a minor in Philosophy) and come up with my own conclusions. People may argue with me about issues like abortion, like what is the definition of a life, but not when it comes to things like is the sky really blue?
Considering I live in a "blue" state and supposedly a Democratic state, I feel like I am surrounded by a bunch of conservative lunatics. I'm really trying to find the liberal side of Rhode Island, because I feel like I am literally getting choked to death here. I can't even hold an intelligent political debate with anyone because people seem to be clueless. It would be really sad if I went to a state known for it's conservative roots like Arkansas and find more liberals, or at least moderate Republicans. Maybe I live in the wrong part of the state, as East Providence is mostly Portuguese Roman Catholics (the joke here is that EP stands for "Everyone's Portuguese", although I'm not, not even partly) , and not far is Barrington and Cranston, which I consider upperclass rich Bible thumpers (although I notice both towns seem to be somewhat split, that there is some areas of heavy duty Democrats). I'm not saying everyone is conservative, but the overwhelming majority that exists is conservative in those areas. Either that or I am meeting the wrong people.
And enough of this Tea Party shit. I would like to form an anti-Tea Party Group. I'd call it the Coffee group.Just kidding. But seriously, I should find a bunch of hippies and recreate Woodstock in front of the statehouse instead. Now that ought to be interesting. You can legally smoke medical marajuana in our state, I'll just gather all those people and plop them in one spot. Call up a few bands, have people make food for a potluck meal, and get all the people who live in tent cities because they lost their homes to join us at the statehouse. We'd really prove a point.
I don't mind a political discussion, but I require two things: that we can have an intelligent arguement and that in fact both parties are actually intelligent, and also that we don't discuss this at work or a place where we can't talk about such stuff. Thank you.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Let kids be kids
Lesbian Prom Date Controversy
Constance McMillen was ready to go to prom with her date. However, she is in a lesbian relationship, and her date wanted to wear a tux. Apparently the school had a problem with this (an ultra-conservative Southern area) and instead canceled prom.
Way to chicken out. The problem with this country we just don't deal with problems. If the school had a problem with gay people, why couldn't they just ask the girls to buy the tickets seperately or go as "friends"? Not that it's the best solution, because I think any gay couple should go as is. But cancelling prom as a way to solve a problem? Not really. I mean I wore dress pants to one of my dances and no one said anything. Who really cares as long as you don't show up to a prom not dressed properly? And did not our forefathers come to this country for religious freedom? People who are homophobic tend to be (not always) really religious and buy the Bible crap that marriage is between a man an woman. You can't push your AGENDA on other people. Believe what you want to believe is fine, but don't make it your goal to push your beliefs on someone else.
Let the kids have fun at a dance. Isn't is what prom is all about? Kudos to the young ladies for standing up for themselves. Shame on the school for wussing out. Work with the kids, that is what your job is, not against them. If you can't be there for the kids, get the hell out and find something else to do with your life.
Constance McMillen was ready to go to prom with her date. However, she is in a lesbian relationship, and her date wanted to wear a tux. Apparently the school had a problem with this (an ultra-conservative Southern area) and instead canceled prom.
Way to chicken out. The problem with this country we just don't deal with problems. If the school had a problem with gay people, why couldn't they just ask the girls to buy the tickets seperately or go as "friends"? Not that it's the best solution, because I think any gay couple should go as is. But cancelling prom as a way to solve a problem? Not really. I mean I wore dress pants to one of my dances and no one said anything. Who really cares as long as you don't show up to a prom not dressed properly? And did not our forefathers come to this country for religious freedom? People who are homophobic tend to be (not always) really religious and buy the Bible crap that marriage is between a man an woman. You can't push your AGENDA on other people. Believe what you want to believe is fine, but don't make it your goal to push your beliefs on someone else.
Let the kids have fun at a dance. Isn't is what prom is all about? Kudos to the young ladies for standing up for themselves. Shame on the school for wussing out. Work with the kids, that is what your job is, not against them. If you can't be there for the kids, get the hell out and find something else to do with your life.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Backtracking and Biblical Mishaps
I got involved today in the show "Wife Swap", and the first show I watched was a non-sports family switching with a very sports driven family. It was funny and it's interesting how both families had the extremes of each lifestyle. I had both sports and music in my life and you know what, there is such a thing as a balance of both. I don't understand these people. One considered music to be a "sissy" thing, while the other people didn't want the definition of "Soccer mom/dad".
It got more interesting when the next show was that of very liberal vs. very conservative. The sad part was that the dad, Chris Childs (sadly of Rhode Island, I hope I never bump into him, or I will give him a piece of my mind) knew he was brainwashing his kids. I have a problem with the Christians of our world. Granted I am one, but I don't define my life as a "Bible Thumper". Watching the show reminded me of how I was raised, and how glad I am to be no longer brain washed. I grew up very confused, but partly glad I questioned things going on in our world. When I was younger, I went to private school and was involved with the church. I grew up learning "Jesus loves you", "all non-Christians believe in the devil", and "turn the other cheek when people persecute you", yet living at home, I was surrounded by the outsiders. My neighborhood was filled with violence, drugs, hate, small gangs, you name it. I remember at 5 yrs old being threatened by five kids with knives in their hands at the park, and a year later I was offered drugs on the way home from school. Again, very confusing to a young person growing up. I was well aware of things I should've never been aware of until I was much older. It made it difficult for my teachers to understand what I would talk about in school, because I was seeing a world quite differently than what I was learning about in school.
These thoughts raced through my mind, and I got sick just think about it. So I took a shower so I wouldn't have to listen the religious bird brains argue. If I am ever fighting for my life in a hospital and my blood pressure is low, turn on something like that will bring back my blood pressure to normal, and if left on too long, make it sky rocket.
Here's the link to Providence Journal's article on the show: Wife Swap- Christian vs. Christian
There is some hope for the children. I pray that you get unbrainwashed. I really pray that they don't buy the story of Adam and Eve, or at least Mr. Childs version of it. He told his children that Adam ate Swiss Cheese and lusts over many women. What many women Mr. Childs? There was only one woman, and that was Eve. Duh, doesn't matter type of Christian you are, we do know it was one man and one woman. I want to know where the hell this man got his facts.
It got more interesting when the next show was that of very liberal vs. very conservative. The sad part was that the dad, Chris Childs (sadly of Rhode Island, I hope I never bump into him, or I will give him a piece of my mind) knew he was brainwashing his kids. I have a problem with the Christians of our world. Granted I am one, but I don't define my life as a "Bible Thumper". Watching the show reminded me of how I was raised, and how glad I am to be no longer brain washed. I grew up very confused, but partly glad I questioned things going on in our world. When I was younger, I went to private school and was involved with the church. I grew up learning "Jesus loves you", "all non-Christians believe in the devil", and "turn the other cheek when people persecute you", yet living at home, I was surrounded by the outsiders. My neighborhood was filled with violence, drugs, hate, small gangs, you name it. I remember at 5 yrs old being threatened by five kids with knives in their hands at the park, and a year later I was offered drugs on the way home from school. Again, very confusing to a young person growing up. I was well aware of things I should've never been aware of until I was much older. It made it difficult for my teachers to understand what I would talk about in school, because I was seeing a world quite differently than what I was learning about in school.
These thoughts raced through my mind, and I got sick just think about it. So I took a shower so I wouldn't have to listen the religious bird brains argue. If I am ever fighting for my life in a hospital and my blood pressure is low, turn on something like that will bring back my blood pressure to normal, and if left on too long, make it sky rocket.
Here's the link to Providence Journal's article on the show: Wife Swap- Christian vs. Christian
There is some hope for the children. I pray that you get unbrainwashed. I really pray that they don't buy the story of Adam and Eve, or at least Mr. Childs version of it. He told his children that Adam ate Swiss Cheese and lusts over many women. What many women Mr. Childs? There was only one woman, and that was Eve. Duh, doesn't matter type of Christian you are, we do know it was one man and one woman. I want to know where the hell this man got his facts.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Damned if I do, damned if I don't
So I haven't updated in a while, and today's post is going to be about my health.
This past June, I had a tonsillectomy. The reason I had my tonsils removed is because for the past three years I have been visiting a slew of doctors (okay not a slew, but I talked about this situation with my regular doctor, a sleep doctor and an ENT) about my snoring problem. The two main causes of snoring is one excessive weight, and two, tonsils. Particularly large tonsils cause an issue, which I have. I had a small mouth and not huge but large enough tonsils to cause an issue.
I have both problems, and since weight is a a fluctuate thing with me, tonsils would be somewhat of a permanent solution, in a way. Since the surgery (a rather painful surgery, which I also lost my voice to as well for a few weeks. My voice was as high pitched as a four year old girl. Talking was not fun.) I have been doing better. I don't snore except when I'm sick. (After my experience, when I have kids, they are getting their tonsils out as soon as they are old enough. They will not go through the pain their mommy had to endure at 23 years old.)
However, it has apparently reeked havoc on some other health issues. I had a dentist appointment yesterday, which I already knew they were going to tell me to do a better job on flossing. Flossing is rather difficult because of the small mouth issue, and I know I can't get in there like I should. I also don't feel like shelling out money on expensive toothbrushes and floss picks. But flossing wasn't their main concern. Although it is partly the reason why now I have nine cavities that need to be filled, apparently my tonsillectomy has reeked havoc on my mouth.
I noticed after my tonsillectomy that my mouth is drier than ever. Every time I do some form of exercise or go up the stairs, I start dry hacking really bad. The reason being that my tonsils being removed has now caused an issue of forming saliva; apparently my mouth doesn't make enough. So while my sleeping issue may be somewhat solved, I now caused a problem with my teeth. If you don't produce enough saliva, apparently it causes cavities. So now I am screwed. I now have to make another appointment with my ENT to discuss solutions. Now I have to buy special toothpaste and mouth wash, along with some gel crap to use on my mouth for my dry mouth issues. I can't win.
I realized a few weeks ago that every vacation I took from work in 2009 I had surgery. I had surgery with some other minor issues in March, in June I had a tonsillectomy, and in December I had minor foot surgery. In which I am still healing from the foot surgery. My doctor told me it may take up to a year to completely heal. How lovely.
He didn't want me to go to the gym for another 2 to 3 weeks, but I went last night anyways. Today I got yelled at by the millionth time to lose weight. Well no shit sherlock.
I just walked on the indoor track. What I really want to do is swim, but that definitely has to wait at least two more weeks because of the wound. I also want to do my regular routine of treadmill, elliptical and weights. I could do some weights, but the gym was overly crowded last night. I have to wear these sponge things on my toe for a while until it heals more.
The reason I had foot surgery is because for years, I had this ugly mole in between my toes. It never bothered me except the looks of it. Well, I went to a dermatologist (who I didn't like and I am now in the process of looking for a new one), but what we both agreed was that it needed to come out. Of course, the damn fool wanted it to come out that day. I had to wait a few more weeks to get a doctor that I wanted to take it out, to take it out. Which led to time off from work and lots of wound care. Thankfully it wasn't cancerous, but still.
I love doctors. They think that they can just tell you to do certain things, take some pills and cut certain crap out and that's it you're better. I have no problem wanting to lose weight and taking care of things. However, my life is not conducive to just snapping the fingers and making it happen.
My beef with these doctors is never ending. All of them tell me to lose weight. Well duh, do you think I like looking myself in the mirror? However see, even though I am well educated (I do have a BA), there are no jobs out there. I work a job that requires me to stand on my feet anywhere from 4 to 6 or more hours at a time. By the time I'm done, even with a 15 minute break that does nothing for me, my feet are killing me. They give you a crappy mat to stand on a cement floor and do repetitive crap for that amount of time. I go home to sit down while pain shoots up my legs and my back kills from the slight bend I have to make to count change. Also, the awkward lifting of turkeys and dog food from one side to another in a small contained space.
When I do have days off, I am too tired to function properly for a real workout. I don't want to rely on pain reliever, because some of my family members can no longer take certain pain medications because they took too much. If I were to take pain reliever every time I had pain from work so I can hit the gym, I would be a medical mess. Ideally at this point of my life, I was hoping to have a real job, where I would ideally spend time in an office sitting so I can actually enjoy getting up and doing some serious workouts. But currently my life is not working out to it's ideal potential.
Weight loss also has to deal with food too, which I know all too well. However, it is expensive to eat healthy, so I mix it up. I eat healthy when I can afford to eat healthier. I also don't have a schedule where I can plan the six small meals a day either. Which is why I end up eating late at night and sporadic times of the day, not making the weight loss any easier.
It's not that I don't hit the gym or eat healthy,but the way I'm currently doing things only maintains, not helps lose weight efficiently. I need a jump start, but in order to get a real jump start, I need a real job that a.) pays well, b.) requires a mix of sitting and standing or just not standing the whole time c.) really good health insurance and d.) a somewhat regular schedule so I can plan regular gym time or workouts or just getting up and about.
I also loved how my derm thought I could just get my toe surgery done that day. Hello, I don't have a desk job, I have a STANDING job. I needed time off, and it was before Christmas, and I work retail. Not exactly a thing to "just do". Thank God I am in an union, because if I were anywhere else, I could be fired for "taking time off" for a surgery because I "wasn't meeting the needs of the company". In retail, all bodies are needed during the Holidays. I need to get paid, as this is my only source of income. I had one last vacation, but if I needed more time off, I wouldn't get paid, and how the hell am I supposed to pay my bills? These doctors don't think sometimes. This is the crap I get for trying to take care of myself.
I will post a blog entry soon on my issues with the healthcare bill.
This past June, I had a tonsillectomy. The reason I had my tonsils removed is because for the past three years I have been visiting a slew of doctors (okay not a slew, but I talked about this situation with my regular doctor, a sleep doctor and an ENT) about my snoring problem. The two main causes of snoring is one excessive weight, and two, tonsils. Particularly large tonsils cause an issue, which I have. I had a small mouth and not huge but large enough tonsils to cause an issue.
I have both problems, and since weight is a a fluctuate thing with me, tonsils would be somewhat of a permanent solution, in a way. Since the surgery (a rather painful surgery, which I also lost my voice to as well for a few weeks. My voice was as high pitched as a four year old girl. Talking was not fun.) I have been doing better. I don't snore except when I'm sick. (After my experience, when I have kids, they are getting their tonsils out as soon as they are old enough. They will not go through the pain their mommy had to endure at 23 years old.)
However, it has apparently reeked havoc on some other health issues. I had a dentist appointment yesterday, which I already knew they were going to tell me to do a better job on flossing. Flossing is rather difficult because of the small mouth issue, and I know I can't get in there like I should. I also don't feel like shelling out money on expensive toothbrushes and floss picks. But flossing wasn't their main concern. Although it is partly the reason why now I have nine cavities that need to be filled, apparently my tonsillectomy has reeked havoc on my mouth.
I noticed after my tonsillectomy that my mouth is drier than ever. Every time I do some form of exercise or go up the stairs, I start dry hacking really bad. The reason being that my tonsils being removed has now caused an issue of forming saliva; apparently my mouth doesn't make enough. So while my sleeping issue may be somewhat solved, I now caused a problem with my teeth. If you don't produce enough saliva, apparently it causes cavities. So now I am screwed. I now have to make another appointment with my ENT to discuss solutions. Now I have to buy special toothpaste and mouth wash, along with some gel crap to use on my mouth for my dry mouth issues. I can't win.
I realized a few weeks ago that every vacation I took from work in 2009 I had surgery. I had surgery with some other minor issues in March, in June I had a tonsillectomy, and in December I had minor foot surgery. In which I am still healing from the foot surgery. My doctor told me it may take up to a year to completely heal. How lovely.
He didn't want me to go to the gym for another 2 to 3 weeks, but I went last night anyways. Today I got yelled at by the millionth time to lose weight. Well no shit sherlock.
I just walked on the indoor track. What I really want to do is swim, but that definitely has to wait at least two more weeks because of the wound. I also want to do my regular routine of treadmill, elliptical and weights. I could do some weights, but the gym was overly crowded last night. I have to wear these sponge things on my toe for a while until it heals more.
The reason I had foot surgery is because for years, I had this ugly mole in between my toes. It never bothered me except the looks of it. Well, I went to a dermatologist (who I didn't like and I am now in the process of looking for a new one), but what we both agreed was that it needed to come out. Of course, the damn fool wanted it to come out that day. I had to wait a few more weeks to get a doctor that I wanted to take it out, to take it out. Which led to time off from work and lots of wound care. Thankfully it wasn't cancerous, but still.
I love doctors. They think that they can just tell you to do certain things, take some pills and cut certain crap out and that's it you're better. I have no problem wanting to lose weight and taking care of things. However, my life is not conducive to just snapping the fingers and making it happen.
My beef with these doctors is never ending. All of them tell me to lose weight. Well duh, do you think I like looking myself in the mirror? However see, even though I am well educated (I do have a BA), there are no jobs out there. I work a job that requires me to stand on my feet anywhere from 4 to 6 or more hours at a time. By the time I'm done, even with a 15 minute break that does nothing for me, my feet are killing me. They give you a crappy mat to stand on a cement floor and do repetitive crap for that amount of time. I go home to sit down while pain shoots up my legs and my back kills from the slight bend I have to make to count change. Also, the awkward lifting of turkeys and dog food from one side to another in a small contained space.
When I do have days off, I am too tired to function properly for a real workout. I don't want to rely on pain reliever, because some of my family members can no longer take certain pain medications because they took too much. If I were to take pain reliever every time I had pain from work so I can hit the gym, I would be a medical mess. Ideally at this point of my life, I was hoping to have a real job, where I would ideally spend time in an office sitting so I can actually enjoy getting up and doing some serious workouts. But currently my life is not working out to it's ideal potential.
Weight loss also has to deal with food too, which I know all too well. However, it is expensive to eat healthy, so I mix it up. I eat healthy when I can afford to eat healthier. I also don't have a schedule where I can plan the six small meals a day either. Which is why I end up eating late at night and sporadic times of the day, not making the weight loss any easier.
It's not that I don't hit the gym or eat healthy,but the way I'm currently doing things only maintains, not helps lose weight efficiently. I need a jump start, but in order to get a real jump start, I need a real job that a.) pays well, b.) requires a mix of sitting and standing or just not standing the whole time c.) really good health insurance and d.) a somewhat regular schedule so I can plan regular gym time or workouts or just getting up and about.
I also loved how my derm thought I could just get my toe surgery done that day. Hello, I don't have a desk job, I have a STANDING job. I needed time off, and it was before Christmas, and I work retail. Not exactly a thing to "just do". Thank God I am in an union, because if I were anywhere else, I could be fired for "taking time off" for a surgery because I "wasn't meeting the needs of the company". In retail, all bodies are needed during the Holidays. I need to get paid, as this is my only source of income. I had one last vacation, but if I needed more time off, I wouldn't get paid, and how the hell am I supposed to pay my bills? These doctors don't think sometimes. This is the crap I get for trying to take care of myself.
I will post a blog entry soon on my issues with the healthcare bill.
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