~Welcome to College~ a poem I wrote

This poem I wrote for my talent at Ms. Springfield College pageant, which everyone loved. Here is my WELCOME TO COLLEGE poem.

Welcome to College (By June Coan)

Clink plink go the bottles and cans of alcohol
Bang bang hear the RA’s running down the hall
Hurry hurry so we don’t get written up again
Oops Joe forgot to throw away the beer can

Welcome to College

Scribble scribble goes the pen in the RA’s hand
The students in the room plead and demand
Please please just give us a warning
So we don’t have to call our parents in the morning

Welcome to College

Joanna and Kim hate their new roommate
She leaves her things all over the place
The entire room is completely trashed
And clearly, clearly, stinks of ass

Welcome to College

Buzz buzz goes the alarm
Sue kisses her good luck charm
She has a test today that she never studied
Because she was too busy hooking up with her *ahem* buddy

Welcome to College

Derek is checking his Facebook and Myspace
Had pictures on there from a party at his place
The next day the coach told him he was busted
Because a rumor was told by a teammate he trusted

Welcome to College

Matt went sledding down Rally Hill
And hours later ran up a hospital bill
He went so fast he landed in the Massasoit
They pulled him out, injured, and smelling like a toilet

Welcome to College

She hears this noise for what seems like hours and hours
Someone has been forever in the shower
Sticking out of the curtain was a hairy leg
She pulls it back, and finds her boyfriend…and Meg

Welcome to College

Getting my books again at the bookstore
This place is like a cheap whore
Always taking my money
And leaving me dirt poor

Welcome to College

Jen has been on the Wall of Fame
But very well known to take the walk of shame
You can hear the sounds right through the door
And see the condoms all over the floor

Welcome to College

I’m going to do laundry again
I’m almost done and I look over when
I see suds and water pour out of a washer
For the love of God, please call your mother!

Welcome to College

Going to get food in the cafeteria
Man, this soup looks like diarrhea
Ugh, I can’t take another bite
Hey look over there, its FOOD FIGHT!

Welcome to College

Jeff is taking sex education
his project is on masturbation
he was in the middle of his presentation
all the sudden he felt this weird sensation

Welcome to College

Last night I saw this girl Joy
She was trying to "Crank Dat Soulja Boy"
And right in the middle of the party
She threw up her Bacardi

Welcome to College

I hope you all enjoyed my poem
Whether you laughed out loud or alone
Stop skipping class and get your education
And I hope to see you all at graduation.



WELCOME TO COLLEGE

just to let you know I was censored for two of the parts of this poem, and the second to last one was added after I performed it at the pageant. I am considering do something for this on youtube, I will keep you people posted if I do (First I need a camera)